


Good Luck on Your Journey

by Diabla05, Mighty_Penguin_96, notaguitarfret, RavenWolfCooper, The_Queer_Spanish_Inquisition, thewishingdragon



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, canon is for suckers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-06-24 09:46:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19721185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diabla05/pseuds/Diabla05, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mighty_Penguin_96/pseuds/Mighty_Penguin_96, https://archiveofourown.org/users/notaguitarfret/pseuds/notaguitarfret, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenWolfCooper/pseuds/RavenWolfCooper, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Queer_Spanish_Inquisition/pseuds/The_Queer_Spanish_Inquisition, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewishingdragon/pseuds/thewishingdragon
Summary: It's a Heathers roadtrip collab AU and a (sort of) spiritual cousin to the TAG AU!Creators' tumblrs: marshalls-scribbles, fandom-dump-writings, kyoanime3, rainisgay, Diabla-05, the-queer-spanish-inquisition, and notaguitarfret!





	1. Chapter 1

The shit Veronica went through.

The shit Heather Chandler went through.

Everything that happened. 

It was exhausting.

It had all started with the beginning of senior year. Everything had started normally, with Veronica walking along the halls and looking around seeing all the people she knew from the past, standing up for Martha, until she somehow ended up joining the Heathers. She never thought she would be able to pull it off, but she did. Heather Chandler took an interest in her ability to forge handwriting. That was about it though. That was what Veronica figured, at least. 

Anyways.

Everything was normal.

Until the party.

Veronica, drunk out of her mind, seemed to sober up the second she saw that damn piñata. Not wanting Martha to have to see what was effectively an effigy of her, she grabbed it and tugged it out of the Heathers’ grasp, throwing it into the pool. She felt a surge of pride in herself for defending her friend.

Until Heather Chandler slowly sauntered over, heels clicking ominously against the concrete as she went. Veronica froze, her heart sinking the closer Chandler came.

When she finally was close enough, she grasped Veronica’s jaw between her thumb and forefinger, tightly if Veronica may add, and started swinging her back and forth, even though Veronica warned her that she might vomit because of the movement. Chandler didn’t listen and kept on going and going, until Veronica snapped and vomited all over her shoes.

The first thing Chandler did was give an unholy screech.

Veronica looked up shamefully as she attempted to straighten herself. Somehow she still found herself intimidated despite the fact that, even in heels, Chandler was at least a few inches shorter than her. Chandler fixed her with a furious glare and let her anger speak for her.

“I raised you up from nothing! And this is my thanks?! I got paid in puke!”

Veronica didn’t know what came over her, but she couldn’t stop the words from coming out of her mouth.

“Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. UP!”

Things had gone to shit pretty quickly after that.

So her social life was over come Monday.

Cool. She could deal with that.

Maybe.

... _ Or, _ she could go out with a bang in her last thirty hours.

Which is how, at two AM on a Sunday, she found herself breaking into Jason Dean’s bedroom.

After that everything was a blur. 

From the night itself to going to Chandler’s house and giving her the “hangover cure.”

Veronica remembers how she went down trying to cough up what was burning her throat. Luckily, She was quick in seeing this was not normal and was in fact an incredibly dangerous situation and sprung into action. She held Chandler up before shoving her fingers down her throat and curling them up towards the roof of her mouth, triggering her gag reflex. When Chandler started coughing and vomiting it up she turned to JD with a murderous glare, not sure if she should shout at him for what he made her do, or shout at him to get shit. She opted to do the latter.

Before she could shout she caught a glimpse of JD’s expression turning from a smug smirk to a genuinely worried look. She didn’t have time to question anything though as she just screamed at the top of her lungs.

“Call 911 and get me some goddamn salt water!”

JD jumped slightly before saluting reflexively and then dashed down the stairs, pulling out his phone, doing exactly what Veronica told him to do. When he’d finished explaining the situation he ran to the kitchen, still on the phone with the 911 operator, and got to work preparing the salt water. All the while Veronica was staying with Heather to make sure she didn’t lose consciousness before the ambulance could arrive.

“Heather? Heather! I need you to stay with me,” Veronica said, “C’mon, tap twice if you can hear me.”

She was not expecting the sharp slap Chandler delivered with the back of her hand. Or the second.

“Okay. I definitely deserved that.” Veronica rubbed her stinging cheek and adjusted her hold to help Chandler sit up as JD arrived with the salt water. “Here. I need you to drink this.  _ Don’t give me that look,  _ I  _ promise _ it’s not more drain cleaner.”

JD snickers, “Probably wouldn’t have made you throw up if it was more, because, you know, that’d be… counter-intuitive.”

Veronica lobbed a pillow at his head. “Is the ambulance on its way?”

He nodded quickly. “They’ll be here in about ten minutes, they said.”

“Good, then for now, make yourself useful and go wait for them!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll go down and wait for them at the door.”

_ “Thank you.”  _ Veronica let out a deep sigh before quickly going back to the task at hand. “Alright, c’mon, I need you to drink this.”

Chandler eyed the glass suspiciously, watching carefully as Veronica groaned and took a sip, grimacing at the taste.

“There. Happy?”

Chandler glared, but relented, allowing Veronica to hold the glass up to her lips for her to drink. Veronica made sure Chandler drank the entire glass, chuckling nervously when she finished and winced at the taste.

Moments later the gagging started, followed quickly by another round of vomiting. Veronica winced and held Chandler’s hair away from her face, nose wrinkling in disgust and concern at the sight of blood. That rug was definitely going to have to be thrown out. When Chandler finished for a few seconds she glared at Veronica who looked at her with a guilty look.

“Yeah, I know,” she sighed, “I made a mess. I’ll clean it up later. For now, my main priority is keeping you alive”

Chandler looked unconvinced.

“Yeah, yeah, you don’t believe me. I get it. I wouldn’t believe me, either.”

Chandler raised one perfectly manicured brow, unimpressed.

Veronica sighed in relief at the sound of sirens. “Oh, thank god, the ambulance is here.”

Chandler huffed, but offered no comment. Likely because of the drano. Veronica didn’t know if she should be happy or hate herself for thinking that.

Their eyes locked on the bedroom door at the sound of JD running up the stairs.

“The ambulance is here,” he said.

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Yeah, no shit, Captain Obvious, why the fuck else would we be hearing sirens?”

Chandler snorted, wincing at the action a moment later.

“Because... there’s... a fire?”

“JD did you fucking set something on fire?!”

“...No?”

Both Veronica and Chandler glared at him, unconvinced.

“...Maybe ...okay there may or may not have been an… _ incident _ when I was boiling the water.” 

Veronica groaned. “And you didn’t fucking think to put it out?!”

“I panicked, okay?!”

“Put out the fucking fire, JD,” Veronica sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration as he dashed back downstairs. “I can’t believe I fucking slept with him.”

Chandler let out a wheezy laugh, grimacing at the pain.

“Terrible taste, I know,” she smiled ruefully. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure your kitchen is still standing.”

The sound of footsteps approaching came again, this time signaling the arrival of the paramedics.

* * *

Heather was handed off to the EMTs, leaving Veronica and JD to watch as she was loaded into the ambulance. Veronica watched the ambulance round the corner, sighing as she and JD were left to recount the incident to the police.

They gave a slightly abridged version of the morning’s events to the officers that walked up to interview them, Veronica providing cover for JD as they told the story that would be least likely to get them arrested. The police left, satisfied with their story for the time being, and Veronica was hit with a sudden realization as the police cruisers drove out of sight.

“What the fuck are we gonna tell Heather and Heather?”

“I don’t know, you tell me! They’re not my friends!”

Veronica sighed. “Okay. First thing’s first. We’ve gotta clean up before her parents get home.”

“Why?”

“Because I promised I’d clean up the mess and we’ve gotta make sure they don’t see anything wrong with the kitchen.”

“Okay I’m going to sound like a kid, but why?”

“Why do you think?! You want your parents to come back to a kitchen half burned to the ground and their daughter’s room fucking trashed with vomit and blood all over the rug?!”

“You don’t have to shout at me, you know.”

“You didn’t have to make me feed Chandler  _ drano! _ ”

“I tried to warn you!”

“Fucking  _ when?!”  _ Veronica demanded.

“Uh…”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Look, I’m sorry, alright?”

“You better fucking be! We almost killed my best friend!”

“And your worst enemy”

“Same difference!” Veronica huffed, “Whatever. Let’s just clean up and go home. I need to smooth things over with the Heathers and you need to… I dunno, skip town or something.”

“There’s a problem with that.”

With a groan, Veronica stomped her foot like a petulant toddler. “What is it now?”

“I don’t really have the means to skip town”

Veronica felt the adrenaline-induced panic wearing off, and with its departure came a feeling of emotional exhaustion.

“Is that my fucking problem?”

He shuffled his feet dejectedly, gaze downcast.

“Listen, we almost killed Heather Chandler and set her house on fire. She’s in the hospital because of us. We had to lie to the fucking  _ police! _ And we might have to lie to Heather and Heather on top of that, which most likely won’t even work since they actually  _ know  _ Chandler.” Veronica sat down on the curb, running a hand through her hair and letting out a long-suffering sigh. “I’ve had an exhausting fucking day and honestly I would love to just accept the sweet embrace of death. This is just… a lot.” Veronica took a deep breath and drew her knees to her chest, resting her elbows on top of them and cradling her head in her hands. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. Just… we nearly  _ killed someone.  _ We could  _ go to jail. _ ”

“But we won’t” JD said confidently.

Veronica narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t know that,” she deadpanned. “This year fucking blows. I thought being popular would make things  _ easier.” _

“Irony’s a bitch, isn’t it?” JD quipped.

Veronica snorted. “Understatement of the goddamned millennium.”

“C’mon,” JD said, offering a hand to help her up, “Let’s clean up. I’ll take the kitchen since that was my fault.”

“This whole mess was your fault,” Veronica retorted.

JD shrugged. “I mean, fair. I’ll help clean up the puke, too, then. What do you say?”

Veronica rolled her eyes, grinning despite herself, before taking his hand and letting him pull her to her feet. “The rug’s beyond saving, but I’ll let you bag it up and take it to the trash.”

“Fair enough.”

“In the meantime I’ll clean up the mug and everything that missed the rug.”

“And the other Heathers?”

“I’ll deal with them. But you’re coming with me to grovel for Heather’s forgiveness.”

He smiled crookedly down at her. “I don’t really grovel. That seems more like your thing.”

Veronica snickered. “What are you trying to say?”

“Oh just how you were pretty eager to drop to your knees for her a while ago.”

“You’re a dick.”

“What’s wrong? Not into dicks?”

“...Touché, motherfucker.”

“Not really into that, but okay.”

Veronica snorted, shoving his shoulder playfully. “Dude, gross.”

“Says the girl that looked half a second from calling Heather Chandler ‘mommy’ earlier.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

JD smirked. “Wouldn’t that make  _ you _ the motherfucker?”

“You’re gross.”

“Says the girl who puked on Heather Chandler and didn’t even brush her teeth before breaking into my room to fuck.”

_ “I was drunk!” _

“You were loud, too,” he replied, “Both in and out of bed.”

“You wanna fight? Because we can fight.”

“Nah, you’ll need that energy for when you grovel at Chandler’s feet.”

“You’ll be right there next to me.”

“Kinky, but I’ll pass.”

Veronica scoffed. “C’mon, we’ve got work to do. And if you say anything like that again I’ll slap that smirk right off your face.”

“What if I’m into that?”

“Then I’ll fix that real quick.”

“Ooh, Veronica,” JD said, moaning exaggeratedly, “I need to be punished~!”

“Don’t do that”

“Will you spank me if I don’t?”

Veronica rolled her eyes and briefly chuckled before smacking him upside the head lightly.

“Next time I’ll use the chancla. Then you’ll  _ really _ be sorry.”

“What’s a chancla?”

Veronica fixed him with a terrifying stare. “If you’re lucky, you’ll never find out.”

“I’ll remember that.”

“Now hurry up! Quit standing there with your nasty B.S.”

“Aye aye, captain,” He said, giving a mock salute and following her inside.


	2. The Aftermath and the Beginning

Veronica sat across from Heather and Heather at her dining room table, wringing her hands anxiously. She had no idea how to explain what happened. How exactly would she even go about telling them that she’d accidentally poisoned their leader?

Shit. She really hadn’t thought this through very well, had she?

God, this situation was so fucked.

Either way Veronica was fairly certain she’d be leaving with either a black eye or a busted lip. And that was the  _ best  _ case scenario. 

Heather Duke was crossing her arms, staring at Veronica with the most unamused look she could muster. Heather McNamara, on the other hand, looked slightly worried. Appropriate, given the circumstances. 

“So you’re probably wondering why I got you both to come here,” Veronica began, unsure of how to continue.

Duke raised a brow, impatient as the silence stretched for several seconds. “Yeah, no shit. Are you going to explain why? Or are you going to sit there looking stupid?”

Veronica frowned. “I can leave if you’re just going to be rude.”

Mac held a hand over Duke’s mouth to muffle her retort. “We won’t be rude! Promise!”

“I speak for myself, bitch,” Duke snapped.

“Don’t be freaking rude!”

“You’re not my  _ fucking _ mom!”

Mac let out a long-suffering sigh and gave Veronica a look that said ‘do you see what kind of shit I have to deal with?’

Veronica gave her a sympathetic smile before continuing. “Well... Ehm. I’m not sure how to say this...”

Duke rolled her eyes. “Just fucking say it. You’re not fucking mute.”

“Again, I can just leave.”

“This is your fucking house,” Duke retorted, “Where are you gonna go?”

“Okay fine! You want me to fucking say it? I accidentally poisoned Heather Chandler! There!”

The silence that fell over the table was deafening.

“...What do you think of that?”

Suddenly, Duke… cackled? Why the fuck would she be laughing at a time like this?

“How in the absolute  _ shit _ do you poison someone by  _ accident? _ ”

“That’s a long,  _ long _ story.”

Veronica jumped as Mac slammed her hand down on the table, looking into Veronica’s eyes with a piercing stare. “We have time.  _ Spill. _ ”

“ _ Yas _ . Spill the fucking tea,  _ sis,” _ Duke sneered.

“Shut the _fuck_ up if you have nothing useful to add,” Mac muttered darkly.

Heather Duke shrank back in shock, before nodding meekly. “Yes, Heather.”

Veronica swallowed thickly, pulling at the hem of her blazer nervously as Mac fixed that dark stare on her again.  _ Oh god, oh fuck, I’m going to die. Tell my cat I love him. Martha can take JFK. I know she’ll take good care of him. Betty can have- _

“You had better start talking,” Mac said.

“Alright, alright!” Veronica said, holding her hands up defensively, “Long story short, JD filled a mug with drano and tricked me into giving it to Heather, I didn’t know it was drano until after she drank it, but when I found out I made her throw it up and had JD call 911 and get some salt water.” At that, she paused, her expression shifting to one of confusion. “And at that point, he like...  _ changed? _ I don’t know, but he set Heather’s kitchen on fire at one point, and like, he put it out, but I was still pretty pissed. Also Heather slapped me while we were waiting for the ambulance to arrive, which, I’m not gonna lie, was pretty hot?” Veronica took a deep breath, suddenly aware of just how long she’d been talking, before continuing. “And then the police arrived together with the ambulance and we had to lie to the cops to keep from getting fucking arrested. Then we cleaned everything up and went home. That’s the cliff-notes version, I guess.”

“...”

“If that’s the cliffnotes, then I don’t even wanna  _ hear _ the long version,” Duke said.

“You. Did.  **_What!?_ ** ” Mac stood up, towering over Veronica, who was still seated.

Veronica grinned nervously up at McNamara “I mean, she’s not dead, so it’s not that bad?” 

“Not that **_bad!?_** You fucking _**poisoned**_ her!”

“To be fair, I also saved her,” Veronica pointed out.

Duke shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“That’s not the point!” Mac huffed, “Why the hell did you poison her in the first place?!”

“It wasn’t me, it was JD!” Veronica frantically shouts.

“Then why did you cover for him?!”

“Because he honestly looked like he regretted it.”

“Seriously? He poisons Heather then regrets it?!” Mac shouted disbelievingly, “How does that even happen?”

“Honestly that part confuses me too,” Veronica said.

“Sounds like he has BPD to me,” Duke muttered.

“What?”

“I think it’s borderline personality disorder,” Duke said again, louder this time.

“...What is that exactly?”

“It’s… hard to explain, but the weird moment-to-moment mood changes sound like something I’ve seen before.” 

“Seen before? What do you mean, seen before?”

“That’s private,” Duke said, her tone leaving no room for negotiation.

McNamara shot Duke a worried look, but didn’t pry, knowing that Duke wouldn’t budge.

“Alright then,” Veronica said before taking a deep breath, “How do we know for sure that JD has BPD?”

“How do you think, fuckwit?” Duke piped up looking at Veronica with the same unamused look from before, “The behavior patterns are pretty obvious if you look for them.”

“Yeah but is there any way of getting a professional to agree with that assessment?” Veronica asked, “I mean, it’s nice that you know it’s the most likely answer, but like, you’re not a doctor so, no offense, but I don’t think you’re super qualified to be diagnosing anything.”

“Okay,  _ rude. _ ”

“It’s a totally legitimate concern!”

“Yeah yeah, I get it. I was just messing around.”

“Heather, this is no time to be ‘messing around!’” Mac huffed, “This is serious!” 

“But-”

“But nothing! Heather is in the hospital!”

“I will never understand how you keep track of which Heather you’re talking about” Veronica said.

“Context clues, dipshit,” Duke snapped, “If Heather and I are here, then which Heather is in the hospital?”

“Listen I was talking about you guys in general. You don’t have to sass me.”

Duke smirked. “Of course I do.”

”I won’t hesitate to use my chancla if you don’t cut it out.” 

“What the fuck is a-”

“We’re getting off track!” Mac interrupted, suddenly remembering what they were all talking about.

“Right.” Veronica looked down and took a deep breath. “Yeah, so Heather is in the hospital right now for obvious reasons. I figured you both deserve to know so you could go visit her if you wanted, to make sure she’s okay and all.”

“We  _ are _ going to visit her, but  _ you’re _ coming with us.” McNamara ordered.

“What? Are you sure? I thought stressing out a patient was a  _ bad _ idea.” Veronica leaned back with her hands up in defense, hoping her excuse would work.

“Oh, don’t be a little bitch about it, Veronica,” Duke sneered, rolling her eyes. “You might have poisoned her, but you also saved her. Plus, you’re gonna need to beg for her forgiveness as soon as possible.” Duke smirked, knowing exactly what Heather Chandler would want to do.

“I mean, you’re right, I guess, but JD would have to be there too, wouldn’t he? I don’t really think it’s a good idea for us to both go to visit her. She  _ is _ just recovering. She probably can’t have more than two or three visitors at a time.”

“Exactly three visitors. So you can come with us perfectly fine,” Duke said and checked her nails.

“You’re going to come, Veronica, whether you like it or not,” Mac ordered.  _ “You _ are going to apologize as soon as possible. And don’t start with the ‘oh but JD’ because I honestly couldn’t care less about him. I  _ do _ care about you though, so you need to suck it up and apologize or else.”

“Okay fine!  _ Fine!  _ I’ll come and apologize.” Veronica said defeated. She knew that she could never win from Mac now. Not with something this serious on the line.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback are always appreciated! And please feel free to send any of the creators asks on tumblr!


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